Today my husband goes to a social group in town. He has worked up the confidence to be able to walk there and back alone. I say town but most people would call it a village and we have lived here for almost 39 years but this walking himself is a big step.
I have two hours on my own. No interruptions. What shall I do first?
I do consider sitting down with a cup of tea and enjoying the peace and quiet but that seems very decadent. As does, enjoying a bit of peaceful knitting, reading a novel or even a bit of colouring. No I must use this time to do jobs/tasks/useful things but what should I do first?
Shall I finish the gardening he started this morning and couldn’t finish without help? Put away the wrong tools he got out of the store? Use the correct tools to plant the bulbs that have finished in their indoor pots? Put away the tools all over the lawn? Perhaps I should also trim the grass that has overgrown the pansies that he cannot see? Throw away the dead herbs in the pots lying around in various stages of getting to the bin?
Perhaps I should get on with the financial things that need my attention on the computer? The things that need no interruption and I never get the chance to do. But what if he gets lost again on his way to the Town Hall? I would have to stop. Perhaps leave that for a while.
Shall I attempt to do cleaning upstairs? It is just ordinary dusting and hoovering but it is a struggle to complete it when he is here because he is not in that room and so I constantly have to stop and answer questions/check if it is quiet that he is not accidentally harming himself or something else/attend to an urgent thing he cannot do.
Perhaps I should do ironing? The iron does not like the constant turning on and off that the interruptions cause. I am sure it does it no good and I cannot imagine the additional cost in electricity. On balance, I can probably do without those clothes and continue wearing the easy wash, non-iron ones.
Shall I do the washing up and give the kitchen a good wash round? He thinks he did that this morning so I cannot do it again while he is around. He forgets many things in a day but he is bound to remember that. I would just like to rewash some of the items that still have food on them, wash the cupboard fronts that have spills down them, rescue the sink from the tea bags that never make it to the bin.
Perhaps I should be adventurous and work on the old shed that is in pieces on the drive? It is supposed to be in pieces and the council are coming to collect it on Monday but each of the pieces needs to be checked for nails. They all need to be knocked over or pulled out. It needs to be done methodically. It is a nice day but will my back cope today? Perhaps tomorrow after pilates tonight?
Two hours is not long. I never feel like I get enough done. I always feel like I have moved too slowly, stepped down from life’s usual frantic pace, never ending requests/demands.
And I miss him.
The Alzheimer's Diaries 